This kind of sucks

WARNING: (this is mostly for Jeremy) THIS POST WILL BE VERY NEGATIVE. I KNOW THIS WAS MY DECISION TO DO THIS F-ING MARATHON THING, BUT I REALLY NEED TO WHINE RIGHT NOW.

Yeah. There. I said it. This kind of sucks. Training for a marathon actually kind of sucks. Its a roller coaster! A running roller coaster! Everything is up and down--one day you run 5 miles, the next day you run 8...in the middle of the week! One day you feel great...the next day you feel like your legs weigh 500 pounds each and 5 miles seems like 10. One day you feel thin...the next day you eat everything in sight and gain 5 pounds even though you just ran 17 miles!
WTF people?
Ok. To be fair I should not be surprised. I've read the magazines, the books, have friends that have been through this and they all say that this is normal. But its hard to manage! The training takes up lots of time, energy and battery power on my ipod. I feel as if I only ever think about running. Sitting in a meeting at work I think "Man, I can't believe that I have to go home and run." or going to sleep at night "Ok I MUST get up at 6 am when the alarm goes off and run." eating dinner "I shouldn't be eating this because it might hurt my stomach during my run." I'm becoming one of those people who is obsessed with running--only I STILL KIND OF HATE IT!
I seriously have to schedule meetings, time with friends, meals, and sleep around my running. And most Saturday nights I am in bed by 10:00. Its not too fun. True story: Last week I was actually LATE TO WORK because I got up too late and forgot that it would take me MUCH longer than 30 minutes to run 4 miles (because--REMEMBER--I'm SLOW). Yes this could cost me my job!
Also...this may sound crazy...but I have seriously (no, really-SERIOUSLY) GAINED WEIGHT. You would think that the god of running or whatever would at least let me lose some weight after all I go through. Running is NOT a pretty sport. You sweat in places you didn't know had sweat glands, you STINK more than you ever thought you could, your nose runs, you chafe anywhere on your body that clothing touches you (yes that's right--go ahead...picture it) you run in rain, in extreme heat & humidity (poor Kim!), you run even when your ipod stops working, when you run out of Gatorade...hey...you have to drink Gatorade! (Yes you really have to--otherwise you'll die...or you'll feel like you want to die). And you go through all this 4 days a week and...STILL the jeans don't quite fit!
So I could eat less....but hello I'm STARVING! If I'm not thinking about running...I'm thinking about food! See? ROLLER COASTER!
And the really great part? One of those 4 days running--you get up horrifyingly early--usually on a SUNDAY while everyone else in the universe is in bed, or reading the paper or hell--even going to church--to run...A LOT. For example:
Last weekend I was scheduled to run 17 miles. You don't just walk out the door and start running 17 miles. You have to plan. So I got online to figure out how many miles the nearest trail was. Then got in my car and drove to the trail to see how far it was from my house (some of us don't own a Garmin, ok?) then had to calculate how many times I would have to run the trail, turn around and run it again. THEN I had to schedule Jeremy to come bring me water which required me to estimate my pace (which again..hard to do when you don't have a Garmin) so to be safe I overestimated how long 8.5 miles would take me--I figured 1 1/2 hours would be PLENTY of time. But I was WRONG. It took me almost 2 hours and THEN after that I had to run ANOTHER 8 MILES!!!!!!!!
But I did it.
OK....well....I almost did it. I think I was very close...Jeremy's friend Jake who is training for the Omaha Marathon was running on the trail and I begged him to PLEASE run with me because after 12 miles I was really tired of my ipod. So he ran with me and we talked and I totally lost track of where I was in my miles. Anyway--if I didn't do 17 I know I did at least 16 and at that point it was O-V-E-R, I was done and 16 was going to have to be good enough Hal Higdon!

But I have to say in all honesty...that run wasn't THAT bad. The first 8 miles...Wait for it...

I actually felt pretty good! But by 14, 15 I really started to get tired. Which is ok and totally normal and the exact reason you do long runs--to build up your endurance. But at one point when I was still in the first 8 miles I actually--now this was VERY brief--I actually forgot I was running. It was so weird, yet so wonderful! For a brief, shining moment I wasn't thinking "this is boring. this is boring. my legs hurt. i hate this." I actually don't know what I was thinking about, but before I knew it 1/2 a mile had gone by. It was awesome! Who can I pay to make that happen this weekend...for 18 miles? Is that a runner's high? Or maybe that's just my runner's high--temporary amnesia or something.

Ok now on the bright side: I'm getting excited for the race! I watched "Spirit of the Marathon" last weekend about the 2005 Chicago Marathon and I almost cried like 5 times. I haven't been that sore after my long runs, and its kind of fun to be able to say "Yeah last Sunday I ran 17 miles" (shush, it was CLOSE ENOUGH ok) Yes its technically bragging, something I normally despise, but hello--after all the sweating, chafing, Gatorade, time away from my husband and T.V. AND my jeans not fitting...I think I've earned some bragging rights.